I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
