Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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