We won't sleep together?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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