i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
