we made out on top of his cat.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
