I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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