you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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