All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
