Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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