Dual....:-)
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize