I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
