Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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