from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
