is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
