Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
