hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
