It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
