Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
