My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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