This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
