She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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