Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
