I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize