Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize