I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
