Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
