i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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