I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i think i just lost a toe
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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