I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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