I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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