Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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