none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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