Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
