i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
