i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just pee around me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
