I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
