Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
