What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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