This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
