I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
