i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
