all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize