We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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