I forgot how hot balto sounded
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Your cock deserves a montage
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
