apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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