talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
