just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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