theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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