I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
