I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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