i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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