So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
