Sponge bath it is.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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