your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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