Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
