My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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