Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
