Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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