I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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